In Her Sorrow
by Threnody
Summary: Relena's thought of Heero one night.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. No profit was made from this piece of fiction.  
  
A/N: It's a bit typical of a Relena fic, I know, but the opening sentence just came to me and I was depressed so I felt the need to expand. Just FYI, this is set around AC 200. Hope you enjoy.  
  
In Her Sorrow  
Threnody  
  
She was beautiful in her sorrow. Or so everyone thought. But then again, she had only ever been truly happy when he was around, and those times where rare. She wore her mask of indifference well, often forgetting to take it off after the meetings. She was strong to the world; she was strong for him. Those close to her knew why she fought for peace. To the world, she was a savior to the people. She fought for them and with them. She was their hope, their 'dove of peace'. She hated that title. It was true that she did care about the people, and she hated war because of the death and suffering it caused, but that was not why she fought. She fought for him, so he wouldn't have to. She fought so he could live his life of peace and normalcy. And she was succeeding.  
  
She ran the brush through her golden tresses one last time before setting it upon the dresser. Gazing at herself in the mirror, she was always slightly surprised at the woman who stared back. No matter how she tried, she could not remember the transition period between being a schoolgirl and becoming a woman. Now she could barely even remember being a schoolgirl. Those were happy carefree times, of which she had no more need.  
  
She rose from the seat at her dresser and made her way to the large, empty bed. Settling herself between the satin sheets, she turned out the light and mentally reviewed her schedule for the next day. In the silence around her, she hoped against hope that her thoughts would not turn towards him. But they always did. She couldn't help it. What she felt for him was beyond description or love. Or perhaps it was the truest form of love. Either way, she always thought of him. In everything she did, he was with her. She desperately missed his physical presence, but continued her life for the sake of his.   
  
Feeling restless, as she often did, she rose from her bed and placed a cotton shawl around her slim shoulders. She walked out onto her balcony and sat on the bench there, staring up at the stars. Her thoughts drifted back to the battle on Libra, where the fate of the world had hung in the balance. Everything depended on him at that moment. And afterwards, everything depended on her. Fortunately, they had both been strong enough to do their jobs. She allowed herself a fanciful musing, and wondered what kind of couple they would have made. She imagined it to be wonderful. With both of their strong wills she pictured glorious arguments and passionate love. She lost herself in thoughts of a lifetime spent with him.  
  
But the moment faded fast, and her thoughts returned to the reality of their relationship. She knew it could not work. Not now anyway, perhaps in the future. But now, he needed to discover the world of peace that he helped build. He needed to learn what it meant to be human for himself, not be told the answers. If he has stayed with her, she would've done too much. He realized that, and left to make a life of his own. It hadn't been easy for her to accept it, but she knew it to be the truth. She cared for him too much, and that had been the problem. He might not ever return, and the thought of life without him tore her apart. But it had to be this way. He needed to become his own person, and once he did, only then could he return. But just because he could, didn't mean he would. The fear of this kept Relena up many times. But she could only have faith in her love for him. She could only believe in him, just like he'd asked.  
  
She left the cold of the balcony and returned to her bed. Snuggling down into her sheets she sent a silent prayer toward heaven for him, that he would be safe and happy. Slowly she relaxed, and her restless spirit calmed. On the verge of sleep, one lonely tear escaped and she murmured his name into the night.  
  
She was beautiful in her sorrow. She was beautiful all the time.  



End file.
